I've debated writing this for about a month or longer. The subject is a touchy one and I wanted to make sure that everything was clear, and to protect those who are still working on issues. What am I talking about? Well read on, and hopefully I can make everything clear.
It all started about four months ago, when I started talking with a friend in a game that we both play. He started confiding in me, and my husband, about some of the things that he was going through. I finally got to meet "Shadow" (not his real name, but to protect his identity, it's his name in this post, and one that he picked out) in Georgia, along with his dad, Mr. M. I started learning more about Shadow's past, the severity of it, and it broke my heart. The mothering instinct in me cried out for this poor boy (yes, you're still a boy Shadow, whether you think so or not).
You see, at eightteen months of age, Shadow's mother abandoned him. Left him with his dad, and just walked out. She's bi-polar, wasn't happy in life, and decided that instead of caring for the child that she bore, it was better to just leave. Sadly, it would have been better if she would have just stayed away, but over the course of years she would pop back in his life for a day, a couple of days, or a week at a time; disrupt his life, and then leave again- ripping the wounds open again. This continued through out his entire childhood. Everytime she would leave, he would start to wonder what it was about him that made his bio mom leave. When Shadow was about twelve, she came back into his life, and married his dad. Things were fine for awhile, but then she found that it was too hard to stay in that life, and decided not only to leave, but to move to Nepal. Shadow was seventeen when she left for the last time.
The thing of it was that this wasn't something that was brand new to my husband and I. My husband has been through the exact same thing, and could sympathize with Shadow. No matter a child's age, you will always need your mom, in one way or another. My husband and I discussed it, and decided that if Shadow was okay with it, that we would adopt him into our family.
To say that Shadow was elated would be an understatement. Mr. M had done an amazing job raising him by himself, but there are some things that only a mother can provide. Mr. M has welcomed me as Shadow's mom, and together we are working to help Shadow overcome the damage that he has suffered, along with therapy. In October, of this year, Shadow is coming to visit us in Kansas, staying with us for a couple of weeks. We are thrilled to have Shadow in our family, and can't wait to see him grow and mature.
You are my son, Shadow. That bond can not be broken, and will not be revoked no matter what you do. We welcome you, with open arms, into our prehistoric family :)
Until Next Time,